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Lots of people love surprises. Coming home to find that your partner has made your favorite meal for dinner or seeing a bouquet of flowers waiting for you on your desk in the office can feel like a magical moment.
But not all surprises are welcomed. One woman recently shared a story on Reddit detailing how she managed to secretly move out of the home she shared with her ex while he was away at work. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies supportive readers shared.
This woman and her ex agreed on a date when she would move out of their home
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
But instead of waiting around for that day to come, she decided to surprise him by moving out early
Image credits: demopicture (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Grigsbyjawn
Unfortunately, many people know how it feels to be in a toxic relationship
Every relationship has its ups and downs. No matter how much you love your partner, there will be days when you have to resist the urge to blow up at them for tracking dirt over freshly mopped floors or forgetting that you have plans to see your mother on Saturday (even though you reminded them 15 times).
No one is perfect, but in a healthy relationship, both partners can communicate and work through their issues, rather than escalate them. Unfortunately, however, not everyone is able to have a cool, calm and collected conversation with their significant other.
The Santa Barbara Independent reports that 48% of women and men say they’ve experienced psychological aggression from a partner. And relationship issues can take a huge toll on your life. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one third of people who experience mental health issues say that problems in their relationship have been a contributing factor.
It can often be difficult to determine what exactly quantifies a toxic relationship, though. The definition isn’t black and white, but Forbes notes that there are several toxic traits to be on the lookout for.
If your partner uses manipulation as a tactic, makes you feel bad about yourself, is judgmental or extremely negative, you might be in an unhealthy relationship. It’s also a red flag if your partner is passive aggressive or extremely self-centered.
Now, identifying an unhealthy relationship is one thing, but getting out can be an entirely different challenge.
It’s wise to have a plan in place when escaping an unhealthy relationship
Choosing Therapy explains that leaving a toxic relationship can be incredibly difficult if the person getting out fears the unknown or retaliation from their ex. It’s also challenging if they’re financially dependent on their ex, if they’re codependent, if they feel shame about the relationship or if they have no where else to go that feels familiar and comfortable.
In fact, the average victim of intimate partner violence has to leave seven times before they stay away from their ex for good. So what kind of game plan should someone have before getting out of a toxic relationship?
Choosing Therapy recommends building up a support system and a safety net. If you have somewhere else to go or someone else to lean on, you won’t ever be in a position where you need your ex again. It’s also a good idea to tell someone in your life how bad the relationship is, so they won’t approve of you ever going back.
It’s wise to have a detailed plan about where you’re going to go and what you’re going to do to ensure that you stay away from your toxic ex. Another difficult but important step is making your feelings clear to them. This might need to be by phone or letter, though, if it’s dangerous to have the conversation in person.
Finally, Choosing Therapy adds that it’s important to accept that you might never get closure if you’ve left a toxic relationship. But if cutting off contact means that you’re safe and can move on, it’s worth it.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this petty revenge in the comments below, pandas. What do you think of this woman’s plan to move out on her own terms? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing a similar situation, look no further than right here.
Readers poured out support for the author in the comments, and she joined in on the conversation
Many also applauded her for walking away from the relationship, and some shared similar stories of petty revenge
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