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After my last post, I was deeply moved by how many women reached out to share their stories of getting divorced in their 60s.
Some felt pushed out – that was my story. Others chose divorce themselves. Some waited until it felt too late. A few were still on the fence.
But what came through in every message was the same: bravery, strength, and hard-earned wisdom. There’s no single path through this life change – but if you’re walking it, you’re not alone.
The New Divorce Trend No One Warns You About
Did you know that divorce rates among older adults are now the highest of any age group? Meanwhile, divorce among younger people is actually declining.
I found this shocking – until I became part of the statistic myself.
Everything Felt Upended
I didn’t know where I would live. I didn’t know how to handle the financial logistics. I was overwhelmed.
We had saved responsibly, but I hadn’t planned for the hidden costs of divorce: moving, furnishing a new home, redoing all the little things you take for granted in a shared life.
Emotionally, I was reeling. And the fear – the fear of being alone, of getting it all wrong – made it hard to think clearly.
Besides being heartbroken, I didn’t know how to begin picking up the pieces. But in the midst of that confusion, I found a few simple strategies that helped me breathe again. I offer them in case they might help you too.
1. Talk to Friends – Even When You’d Rather Hide
Many of us feel shame around divorce. Even if we were the ones who asked for it, we can carry a sense of failure.
That shame makes us go silent. But connection is what heals us.
I pushed myself to talk to friends. To name my fears. To tell the truth. And I felt lighter each time I did.
We heal trauma by telling our stories – sometimes over and over again. That’s not weakness. That’s the brain processing.
Friends may get tired of the repetition. (It’s okay – they love you.) Rotate friends if you need to. Don’t exhaust them – but don’t disappear either.
You’ll start to notice who leaves you feeling supported and who leaves you feeling small. Lean into the people who hold space for your pain, not the ones who judge it.
2. Ask for Help (Yes, Even with the Dishes)
Divorce doesn’t just break your heart – it disrupts your routines.
Cooking, paying bills, cleaning out closets – it all feels like too much at first. I remember standing in the middle of my new apartment, thinking, I don’t even know where to begin.
If someone offers help, say yes. That’s hard for some of us. But this is the time to let love in.
You won’t always feel this foggy. But while you do, every bit of practical help matters.
3. Therapy and Support Groups Are Gifts – Not Last Resorts
I’m a therapist, so yes – I believe in therapy. But even if I weren’t, I’d say this: talking to someone who is trained to listen can make all the difference.
Therapy is a space where you don’t have to be brave. Where you can grieve without apology. Where your story gets to be the whole story.
Support groups, especially those led by therapists, can be equally powerful. You’ll be surprised how much lighter the burden feels when you share it with others walking the same path.
My Lifeline: Morning Pages
Each morning, I wrote three pages by hand – first thing, before distractions or doubts could take over.
Some mornings, I wrote: “This is ridiculous. I have nothing to say.” Other days, I made lists. Sometimes I just vented. Sometimes I cried.
This ritual, called Morning Pages, comes from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. It’s not about writing anything profound.
It’s about showing up for yourself. Clearing the mental clutter. Letting your deeper voice speak – maybe for the first time in years.
It didn’t solve everything. But it helped me hear myself again. It helped me calm down, take the next step, and remember: I am still here.
You’re Not Alone. Let’s Keep Talking.
If you’re in the thick of a major life change – divorce, grief, reinvention – I hope something here speaks to you.
These are just a few tools that helped me. Maybe you’ve found others.
Let’s Reflect Together:
What helped you get through your hardship (be it divorce, loss or something else)? Or what are you still trying to figure out? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments. We are stronger together than we are alone.
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