Ever feel like you’re navigating stormy seas, with each wave bringing another gust of uncertainty? Just when you think you’ve found your bearings, the winds shift again.
I’ve been thinking about uncertainty a lot lately – it’s become our constant companion, hasn’t it?
I recently received an email from a How She Thrives reader in her 60s who’s been divorced for a few years. She shared she was feeling lost and didn’t know where she belonged anymore. “I think this is truly the first time I’ve been completely on my own,” she wrote, “and I’m struggling to find my footing.”
Maybe You Can Relate?
Perhaps you’re starting over after a relationship ended, adjusting to an empty nest, or supporting adult children while caring for elderly parents. Maybe you’re questioning what’s next, reimagining your identity after retirement, or dealing with unexpected health challenges.
Add personal transitions to collective uncertainties – political upheaval, economic instability, natural disasters – and it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.
But here’s what I’ve learned: The solution isn’t more certainty or control.
The antidote is developing unshakeable trust in yourself.
What Self-Trust Really Means
Self-trust isn’t positive thinking or self-confidence. It’s deeper – an internal compass that stays true even when external circumstances are stormy.
It’s that quiet, steady voice whispering, “You’ve got this. You’ll figure it out. You’re more capable than you know.”
When you trust yourself deeply, uncertainty becomes less threatening because you know that whatever life presents, you’ll find a way through it. You believe in your ability to learn, adapt, and grow through any situation.
I know what it feels like when that inner voice goes quiet. During some rocky times in my 36-year marriage, I was paralyzed with indecision between staying and leaving, second-guessing every instinct I had. (P.S. I’m so glad I stayed!)
Think back to when you successfully navigated a significant life change – starting a new career, moving to a new city, rebuilding after loss. You probably didn’t have all the answers, but step by step, you figured it out.
That wasn’t luck – it was self-trust in action.
Building Your Trust Muscle
Rebuilding self-trust is like strengthening a muscle – it grows stronger with consistent practice. Here are seven helpful exercises I’ve discovered:
Start a “Wins Journal”
Each evening, write down three things you handled well that day, no matter how small. Did you set a boundary? Make a difficult phone call? Choose self-care over people-pleasing?
Practice Micro-Bravery
Take small risks that stretch your comfort zone. Speaking up in a group, trying a new route home, reaching out to someone you admire.
Listen to Your Inner Wisdom
Create pockets of silence – during tea, a solitary walk, brief meditation – where your inner voice speaks most clearly.
Honor Your Word to Yourself
Make and keep small promises. Walk for 10 minutes, meditate for five. These acts of self-integrity build powerful trust.
Embrace the “Yet”
Transform limiting beliefs by adding this word: “I’m not good at boundaries… yet.” “I haven’t found my purpose… yet.” This reminds you that you’re constantly evolving.
Create a Self-Trust Circle
Surround yourself with trusted friends who believe in you unconditionally. Share victories, no matter how small.
Practice Present-Moment Trust
When overwhelmed by future uncertainties, return to now. Ask: “Do I have what I need right now? Can I trust myself to handle this moment?” Usually, the answer is yes.
The Transformation
When you strengthen self-trust, something magical happens. You make decisions more easily, bounce back more quickly from setbacks, and experience less anxiety about the future. You set healthier boundaries and feel more authentic in your relationships.
More than that, you become a living example of what’s possible, inspiring others to discover their own inner strength.
Moving Forward with Grace
The most skilled sailors don’t wait for perfect weather – they learn to work with whatever conditions arise. They trust their training, intuition, and ability to adjust their sails as needed. You have the same capacity.
Remember: You don’t need to wait until you feel entirely certain to take the next step. You don’t need every detail figured out. You just need to connect with that deep, wise part of yourself that has always known the way.
You’re not just surviving uncertainty – you’re learning to sail by the bright north star of your own inner guidance. And that light within you will never lead you astray.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Think back to a time when you surprised yourself with your own resilience. What did that experience teach you about trusting yourself? If your inner compass could speak to you right now, what do you think it would say?
